IKEA

Today I visited our local IKEA in Frisco, TX. From where I live, this means driving on a toll portion of TX 121 (now called Sam Rayburn Tollway, consistent with the North Texas tradition of naming expressways) to where it meets the Dallas North Tollway in Frisco. The picture below is from the relatively new stretch of tollway 121 as it approaches Stemmons Freeway (I-35E) in Lewisville. Good thing I have a tolltag!

Anyway, I bought a few trinkets at IKEA. I got a placemat for Cici's food and water dishes, along with two bud vases and a new lampshade for a IKEA lamp in my bedroom. The total damage was only about $24. Not bad!


Something causes otherwise healthy people to become retarded when they shop at IKEA. For those prone to this problem, here are a few guidelines to make all of us enjoy the experience more.

1. IKEA is a one-way street in the main aisle. No exceptions. Ever.
2. If you are from another culture where strangers are regarded as something inferior to dog meat, remember that you are no longer in that culture, and you need to adapt, or get on a big shiny airplane home. Have a nice day!
3. Shopping alone at IKEA is a bad idea, but it can be done. There are lockers near the loading area where you can store your purchases for *FREE* while you go to pick up your car. No need for struggling with all those things, trying to get the cart over the barriers, etc. (Yes, I have seen this happen.)
4. Know where the shortcuts are. If you know what you want, you can often skip the upstairs area and go directly to the "marketplace" section downstairs. Remeber the one-way street commandment.
5. Stopping dead in the main aisle to gawk, talk, or scratch your ass is unacceptable.
6. When you reach the checkouts, head left for shorter lines in the full-service option. A new self-service option is available and it works pretty well. Note that bags are not available anymore in the self-serve area. That is, unless you want to pay $.59 for a floppy, mildewy reusable bag.

Hope this helps!