Yes, it's been forever since I've posted anything on here. Basically I've been traveling quite a bit for work, and there has been a lot of activity in my personal life as well.
I had to manage some disciplinary issues at work, which culminated in two trips to Florida, finally to terminate a manager who was acting in an abusive manner toward his employees. We were concerned that when we terminated him, he would lash out at us in a violent manner. My friend NJtoCLT assisted us by contacting the security manager at the hotel where we did the termination (a sister property of his own hotel) and helping us to arrange security protection. As it happened, the termination went smoothly and professionally - but I managed to lose the key to the former employee's company car on the trip home. You can imagine how hard it's been to live that down at work!
My personal life has been one of ups and downs. I had become friends with a new man here in Dallas and pretty immediately felt a strong attraction to him for something more. I knew almost from the beginning - three months before - that he could be insensitive and selfish. Friends warned me to stay away, but did I listen? Well, actually for a while I did - but I allowed him back in. The last month alternated between rejoicing when I did see him or hear from him - to feeling hurt and angry when I would call/email/text (often inviting him out) and he wouldn't reply. Of course there was the magic night together where I thought we'd turned the corner - but his sex hang-ups reappeared again. Finally the Saturday night before Labor Day we had a pretty major falling out and I ended the friendship. I'm not proud of the way I did it (in a angry voicemail when he wouldn't answer my call) but in my heart I always knew it would end badly. The first few days were terrible..I was barely functional. But once again my friend NJtoCLT was there to support me and offered me a lot of kindness. My friend Lee here in Dallas was also a source of strength. In the end, I think the guy is not a bad human being, just very mixed up. There's more, but I'll end there. What I'm left with is a void where there used to be high hopes, feelings of guilt and regret, and memories. Maybe someday he and I will talk it through, but I doubt I'll ever hear from him again.
That episode also forced me to face the fact that my depression has returned and the medication I was taking wasn't working anymore. So far I've done two things about it. I found a Doctor and he agreed that I was otherwise healthy, but the dosage I was on was ineffective. I also joined
L.A. Fitness near my house and I've already gone I think four times. It feels good to be exercising again at a real gym.
In addition I've met two cool new guys who I'd be perfectly happy to either date, be friends with, or both. What's more my friend Lee introduced me to a cool couple he knows who live right around the corner from me, and we've been socializing too. Life is getting better again, but I do still think of what might have been.
